Chappie (IMAX)

God dammit Neill Blomkamp! I wanted to give you a chance with this. I really did. Even though I haven't watched it since it came out, I thought District 9 was good. And I'm probably in the minority, but I liked Elysium (although it wasn't great). Walking out of the theater after watching Chappie however, I felt very disappointed. Maybe even a little angry. 

Chappie takes place in Johannesburg, South Africa (where Neill Blomkamp is from) in the not so distant future. Crime is being patrolled by a robotic police force. One of these robots is stolen and programmed with artificial intelligence by creator Deon Wilson (Dev Patel). The robot becomes known as Chappie (played by Sharlto Copley through the use of motion capture), the first of his kind with the ability to think and feel for himself. Of course, some people view Chappie as a threat and will stop at nothing to destroy him. 

Let me just tell you right now that the trailers for this movie have been VERY misleading. They make you think that the story is just Dev Patel's character creating Chappie and Hugh Jackman (who plays Vincent Moore, the main villain) doesn't like it so he goes after them. There's so much more that they don't tell you. They would've been better off sticking to that simple story. Instead they toss in these two South African rappers who play gangsters and from there it just gets weird.

The movie starts off okay. I like how Chappie is basically a child at first and has to learn an experience life. I'll admit, there were a few moments where it hit me right in the feels. Also, I thought the visuals were impressive considering the 49 million dollar budget which is pretty low as far as movies go. 

But once the movie got to the whole "gangster training" scene that's when things began to get stupider and stupider. Chappie is the only character in the film that I actually liked. All of the human characters are so flat and underdeveloped. 

The movie drags so much that I felt like it was never going to end. And when it did finally get to the ending, I wanted to shout, "Oh fuck you!"

I don't really reccomend you see this in theaters. Wait til it's on Netflix. But if you insist, see it on a regular screen and not IMAX. Is not worth the extra money. 

Chappie had potential. That's what's so frustrating. Neill Blomkamp really blew it here.

My Rating: 5/10

Kingsman: The Secret Service

So many people have recommended this movie to me and now I can see why. Kingsman was amazing!

The movie is based off a comic book of the same name and tells the story of Gary "Eggsy" Unwin (Taron Egerton)- a promising but troubled young man who is recruited by Harry Hart (Colin Firth) to join an elite spy organization called Kingsman. Meanwhile, tech mastermind Richard Valentine (Samuel L. Jackson) is planning on wiping out a good portion of the world's population. It's up to the Kingsman to stop him.

Is it crazy and over the top? Absolutely. And I loved every minute of it. Normally I can't stand when a movie does something like this but director Matthew Vaughn really makes it work. The action sequences were well choreographed and so much fun, especially the church scene. I'm glad they decided to go all out and make it rated R instead of going the PG-13 route the way most movies do these days. Matthew Vaughn doesn't shy away from showing blood and peoples limbs being cut off. Had he been forced to make it PG-13 I don't think it would've been the same. 

I had never really heard of Taron Egerton until this but he really impressed me. Hopefully he does well in the future.

Of course, the main reason why I wanted to see Kingsman was Colin Firth. I've always been a huge fan of his but even I wonder if he could pull of a movie like this. It's so different from anything he's done before. He's so bad ass and was by far my favorite thing about the movie. To be honest I enjoyed his scenes more than I did Eggsy's.

Samuel L. Jackson makes a great villain. The only thing that bothered me was that for some reason his character talked with a lisp. It was a little distracting and I couldn't tell what he was going for. 

Despite that and a few minor complaints which I can't talk about without spoiling the ending, I really enjoyed Kingsman. I haven't had this much fun watching a movie in awhile. It reminded me a lot of those classic James Bond movies. Go and check it out. You won't regret it.

My Rating: 9/10 

Fifty Shades of Grey

What has been seen... cannot be unseen.

Alright, lets get this over with. I'm going to try and keep this review as short as possible since I don't want to spend any more time on this shit than is necessary.

Literature student Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) meets handsome, tormented billionaire Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan). He then proceeds to stalk her, buy her nice things, and fuck her in his playroom.

That pretty much sums things up. It's a sad world we live in if this is what passes off as romance. I'm sorry but Christian Grey isn't the ideal man. He fits the profile of a serial killer for crying out loud!

I'll give the director, Sam Taylor-Johnson, some credit. I think she tried to do the best she could with the material she had to work with. There were some moments where the cinematography looked nice. I also liked a few of the songs on the soundtrack as well as the "business meeting" scene. But that's about it. From what I've heard, Sam Taylor-Johnson wanted to make changes and try to turn this into something decent but the author of the books, EL James, had a lot of control and refused. There was a lot of tension on set to the point where there will be a new director(s) for the sequels.

Dakota Johnson was better than I thought she would be, not that that's saying much. At least she looked like how I pictured Ana when I read the books (I use that term very loosely). Jamie Dornan, while he's nice looking and might be a good actor apart from this, was laughably bad. Totally miscast as well. When I first saw his ass on screen I thought, Sorry, Charlie Hunnam's is better. 

Speaking of Charlie Hunnam (who was originally cast as Christian), boy did he dodge a bullet here. I'm glad he decided to drop out of the movie. He's way too good of an actor for this shit.

As far as the sex scenes that everyone has been talking about, I found them to be boring. Honestly they didn't do anything for me.

The only reason I'm not giving this a zero rating is because I didn't walk out of the theater feeling angry. I knew what I was getting myself into. And to me it was one of those movies that's so bad it's almost good.

But for the love of god DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT waste your money and see this in theaters. If you're really curious, wait til it's on Netflix or in the Redbox.

Better yet, don't watch it at all. Watch Love Actually instead or one of the many other good romance movies if that's what you're looking for. Or if you're just looking to get off, watch porn. It's shorter, to the point, and you can watch it for free.

My Rating: 4/10

Jupiter Ascending (3D)

Call me crazy, but I actually liked the Wachowskis last film- Cloud Atlas. It's one of the reasons I wanted to see this. That and, of course, Channing Tatum is in it. I should have known something was up when there were only 10 other people in the theater on a Friday night. To be fair, it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. It's not great though.

Jupiter Ascending is about a young woman named Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis). She's down on her luck and working as a janitor/caretaker (Mila Kunis as a janitor? I know, I laughed too) but still dreams of bigger things. In walks Caine (Channing Tatum), a genetically engineered former military hunter who has been hired to track her down. Jupiter discovers that she's actually the reincarnation of the Queen of the House Abrasax- who has ruled over every habitable planet for thousands of years. That makes her next in line for an inheritance that could alter the fate of the universe.

I apologize for that terrible plot summary. I struggled to write it because the movie was such a mess. It would jump from one plot to another so quickly that I wanted to yell out, "What the hell???" They didn't even bother to explain everything properly. Not that I need everything spelled out for me but still- I like to have some vague idea of what's going on.

And I feel really bad because the Wachowskis (as with their other movies) tried so hard to create something different from a lot of the crap Hollywood puts out these days. Visually the movie looks beautiful. I especially loved the look of the different worlds and the costumes. I give them a lot of credit. If it weren't for the plot and the terrible dialog I would've given this a much higher rating.

As far as the acting goes, I didn't really care for Mila Kunis as Jupiter. I have nothing against her, she just wasn't who I would've picked for the part. Channing Tatum on the other hand did a good job and it seemed like he actually tried. Plus I really liked his character. Too bad there wasn't a whole lot of character development in this movie.

Another actor that stood out to me, and not in a good way, was Eddie Redmayne. He played Balem, one of the heirs of House Abrasax and serves as the primary villain. This was one of the worst performances I've seen in a long time. And given how many movies I watch that's really saying something. His character has only two ways of speaking- a low monotone that you can't understand or screaming like a psycho. I kid you not. Why do I get the feeling that any chance he had of beating Michael Keaton for the Best Actor Oscar (playing Stephen Hawking) just went right down the toilet?

Jupiter Ascending had so much potential to be great. Would I recommend you rush out to see it? No. Will I have a few drinks and watch it again when it's on Netflix? Absolutely. If you're like me and a fan of science fiction it's worth checking out.

My Rating: 7/10

Whiplash

It's about damn time the movie theater I go to started showing this! Technically they had it last week, but the showtimes just didn't work out for me then. Everyone I've talked to has been praising this movie and now I can see why. Wow! I was blown away by how good it was.

Whiplash is about a talented young drummer named Andrew Nieman (Miles Teller) who attends a prestigious music academy in New York City. He's accepted into the studio band of famous music instructor Terence Fletcher (J.K. Simmons). Fletcher's methods of unlocking a student's potential are very controversial... and that's putting it mildly.

I sat there in the theater just in awe at the amount of effort director Damien Chazelle put into this movie. Everything about it is amazing- the cinematography, editing, music, etc. I was very impressed with what he was able to do with a $3 million dollar budget.

I was surprised just how good Miles Teller was. The only thing I had seen him in before this was Divergent and he was pretty forgettable. That's not the case here. He's actually a decent actor and a hell of a drummer!

But as much as I liked Miles Teller, we all know the real star of this movie is J.K. Simmons. I've always been a fan of his, but I had no idea he could pull off a performance of this magnitude. His character is crazy- one minute he seems calm and then next minute he just snaps! Anytime he was on screen I swear I felt more tense than I would watching a horror movie. It's pretty safe to say that J.K. Simmons is a lock to win Best Supporting Actor at the Oscars.

That being said, if I had anything "negative" to say about the movie is that there's a small romantic subplot that, though I understand what the director was trying to do, I felt was unnecessary. They could've removed it entirely and the movie would've been just as good.

Even if you're normally not into these types of movies I still think you should go see Whiplash. J.K. Simmons performance alone is worth the price of admission.

My Rating: 9/10

My 2015 Oscar Predictions

For the most part, the nominations this year weren't really a big surprise. The one that did piss me off was The Lego Movie not getting nominated for Best Animated Feature. What the hell Academy?!? Anyway, here are my predictions. As I've said in previous years, these are who I think WILL win and not necessarily who I WANT to win. I'm only going to do the main categories, with my pick in bold print-

Best Picture:

• American Sniper
• Birdman
• Boyhood
• The Grand Budapest Hotel
• The Imitation Game
• Selma 
• The Theory of Everything
• Whiplash

Best Director

• Wes Anderson, The Grand Budapest Hotel
• Alejandro G. Inarritu, Birdman
• Richard Linklater, Boyhood
• Bennett Miller, Foxcatcher
• Morten Tyldum, The Imitation Game

Best Actor:

• Steve Carrell, Foxcatcher
• Bradley Cooper, American Sniper
• Benedict Cumberbatch, The Imitation Game
• Michael Keaton, Birdman
• Eddie Redmayne, The Theory of Everything

Best Actress:

• Marion Cotillard, Two Days, One Night
• Felicity Jones, The Theory of Everything
• Julianne Moore, Still Alice
• Rosamund Pike, Gone Girl
• Reese Witherspoon, Wild

Best Supporting Actor:

• Robert Duvall, The Judge
• Ethan Hawke, Boyhood
• Edward Norton, Birdman
• Mark Ruffalo, Foxcatcher
• J.K. Simmons, Whiplash

Best Supporting Actress:

• Patricia Arquette, Boyhood
• Laura Dern, Wild
• Kiera Knightly, The Imitation Game
• Emma Stone, Birdman
• Meryl Streep, Into the Woods

Best Animated Feature:

• Big Hero 6
• The Boxtrolls
• How to Train Your Dragon 2
• Song of the Sea
• The Tale of the Princess Kaguya

American Sniper

Wow! That's probably the best word I can use to describe Clint Eastwood's latest movie. I've been looking forward to this ever since it was first announced and I was not disappointed.

American Sniper tells the true story of Navy SEAL Chris Kyle (played here by Bradley Cooper), who is regarded as the most lethal sniper in US military history with 160 confirmed kills. The movie is based on his autobiography.

I've always been a big fan of Clint Eastwood, even though his last few movies haven't been the best. I'm happy that he's finally getting back in the right direction. American Sniper is a very real, gritty movie. Clint doesn't shy away from showing the brutal effects of war. Nor does he make it so gory to the point of only doing it for shock value the way other directors might.

The action scenes were so tense that I was literally on the edge of my seat the whole time. As much as I loved those scenes, I also thought the "quieter" moments between Chris and his wife Taya (Sienna Miller) were well done. It's heartbreaking to watch the affect of what Chris has been through and the toll it takes on not only him, but his family as well. I've been fortunate enough to know quite a few members of the military and their families and I can tell you that they were spot on. Very realistic.

Of course, I can't write this review without talking about Bradley Cooper's (well deserved) Oscar nominated performance. He worked his ass off to prepare for this role, including gaining over 40 pounds. But more than that, he was able to capture the spirit of who Chris was. During the credits they show footage as well as pictures of the real Chris and I swear Bradley looks just like him. It's very eerie. From what I've heard, Chris's family is very pleased with the performance and the movie itself.

Everyone needs to stop what they're doing right now and go see this incredible movie. It hits you right in the feels. My only regret is not being able to see it sooner (it got a very limited release around Christmas). Otherwise it definitely would've made it into my top 10. There's always my 2015 list :)

My Rating: 10/10