What has been seen... cannot be unseen.
Alright, lets get this over with. I'm going to try and keep this review as short as possible since I don't want to spend any more time on this shit than is necessary.
Literature student Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) meets handsome, tormented billionaire Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan). He then proceeds to stalk her, buy her nice things, and fuck her in his playroom.
That pretty much sums things up. It's a sad world we live in if this is what passes off as romance. I'm sorry but Christian Grey isn't the ideal man. He fits the profile of a serial killer for crying out loud!
I'll give the director, Sam Taylor-Johnson, some credit. I think she tried to do the best she could with the material she had to work with. There were some moments where the cinematography looked nice. I also liked a few of the songs on the soundtrack as well as the "business meeting" scene. But that's about it. From what I've heard, Sam Taylor-Johnson wanted to make changes and try to turn this into something decent but the author of the books, EL James, had a lot of control and refused. There was a lot of tension on set to the point where there will be a new director(s) for the sequels.
Dakota Johnson was better than I thought she would be, not that that's saying much. At least she looked like how I pictured Ana when I read the books (I use that term very loosely). Jamie Dornan, while he's nice looking and might be a good actor apart from this, was laughably bad. Totally miscast as well. When I first saw his ass on screen I thought, Sorry, Charlie Hunnam's is better.
Speaking of Charlie Hunnam (who was originally cast as Christian), boy did he dodge a bullet here. I'm glad he decided to drop out of the movie. He's way too good of an actor for this shit.
As far as the sex scenes that everyone has been talking about, I found them to be boring. Honestly they didn't do anything for me.
The only reason I'm not giving this a zero rating is because I didn't walk out of the theater feeling angry. I knew what I was getting myself into. And to me it was one of those movies that's so bad it's almost good.
But for the love of god DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT waste your money and see this in theaters. If you're really curious, wait til it's on Netflix or in the Redbox.
Better yet, don't watch it at all. Watch Love Actually instead or one of the many other good romance movies if that's what you're looking for. Or if you're just looking to get off, watch porn. It's shorter, to the point, and you can watch it for free.
My Rating: 4/10
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