Sunday, February 28, 2016

My 2016 Oscar Predictions

I'm sorry I'm putting this up so late. I meant to do this last week but things were just crazy. Anyway, it should be an interesting show tonight. Here are my predictions. I'm only doing the main categories because I don't have the time to do them all. These are who I think WILL win, not necessarily who I WANT to win. 

•Best Picture- Spotlight 
Best Director- Alejandro Gonzalez Innaritu
•Best Actor- Leonardo DiCaprio, The Revenant
•Best Actress- Brie Larson, Room
Best Supporting Actor- Sylvester Stallone, Creed
•Best Supporting Actress- Kate Winslet, Steve Jobs
•Best Animated Feature- Inside Out
•Best Foreign Feature- Son of Saul
•Best Original Song- Writings on the Wall, Sam Smith

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Gods of Egypt (3D)


I know what you must be thinking- why the hell would I subject myself to this shit? Well, I figured since I run this blog I should just take the bullet and see this so you don't have to. I hope you all appreciate what I've done.

Wow. I don't know if words can describe the horror that I've witnessed. But I'll do my best.

Gods of Egypt is about a mortal named Bek (Brenton Thawaites) who teams up with god Horus (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) in order to defeat Set (Gerard Butler)- who has taken over Egypt and plunged it into chaos.

I just read somewhere that the budget on this movie was $140 million. Where the hell did that money go?!? Obviously they didn't put it into the special effects. Good lord! It felt like they made this movie in the early 90's and are just now getting around to releasing it. That's how bad the effects were. I have a feeling that whoever was in charge of them will never work in Hollywood again. Same goes for the so called "writers".

Don't even get me started on the whole whitewashing issue. I could go on a twenty page rant just about that.

I have to take a moment and talk about the terrible, obnoxious performance that Brenton Thawaites gave. And people think Jai Courtney is bad. Say what you want about him, but I've seen Jai Courtney give a good performance. And even his performances that weren't good, at least he tried. This kid (even though he's only five years younger than me, he looks like he's about sixteen) doesn't even fucking try! I've yet to see him give a good performance.

If it weren't for Jamie Lannister (yes I know that's not his name but he'll always be Jamie Lannister to me) and Gerard Butler I probably would have walked out of the movie. Jamie Lannister isn't great in this, but at least he's charming and nice look at. Gerard Butler to me was the best part of the movie. He was hamming it up so much it was as if he was saying, "Yes, I know this is shit but damn it! I'm going to have fun." Although I kind of wonder if they used old stock footage from 300 and just made a few slight changes.

At first, I was okay with this movie. Yes it was awful but in a so bad it's good sort of way. The problem is it's two hours and seven fucking minutes long! I sat in that theater for two and a half hours if you count all the trailers they showed before it. Just when I thought it might be over, it kept going on and on and on. There were several times when I said out loud, "Are you fucking serious? Just end already!" At least Clash of the Titans and its sequel Wrath of Titans had the sense to each be only an hour and a half. I know those movies aren't the best but I liked them. They were fun. Plus they had Liam Neeson as Zeus for crying out loud.

I'm seriously begging all of you- DO NOT go see Gods of Egypt in theaters. It is one of those movies where you have to see it to believe it though. So what I suggest you do is get a bunch of friends together, get really drunk, and watch it when it comes to Netflix. That's the only way you might get some enjoyment out of this.

My Rating: 4/10

Saturday, February 20, 2016

The Witch

This movie has been getting pretty good word of mouth ever since it played at the Sundance Film Festival. After seeing the trailer a few times, I was curious about it myself. So how was it? Well, it was... Interesting. And I don't mean that in a bad way. It was worth seeing. However, it's far from a perfect movie. 

The Witch takes place in New England in 1630. It follows William (Ralph Ineson) and Katherine (Kate Dickie), a devout Christian couple, and their five children. They have left their village and now live way out in the wilderness. When their newborn son vanishes, the family slowly falls apart and evil forces begin to surround them. 

This is director Robert Eggers first full length feature. I'm pretty sure up until this point he'd only directed short films. I must say I'm impressed. I can see why he won Best Director at Sundance. He does an amazing job setting the tone and creating this extremely haunting environment. Everything from the way it was shot (using very bleak colors) to the music makes you feel like you're right there. I also have a lot of respect for him for not having it be your typical horror film that relies too much on gore and jump scares. In fact there weren't any jump scares in this that I can recall. While the movie definitely falls into the horror category, it was more disturbing than it was scary. Which to me is way more effective. 

He's also able to get good performances out of his actors, especially the actress who plays the oldest daughter. I really hope he continues to make movies in the future. 

That being said, there are some flaws. First, the characters speak in Old English. Normally that wouldn't bother me but when you combine it with the actors very thick accents, I couldn't understand most of the dialog. 

Also, it has a slow build to it. Too slow at times. It's only an hour and a half long but it definitely felt longer. 

And finally, the ending is kind of a letdown. It's not bad by any means, but it made me go, "Really? That's it?" That's all I can say without spoiling it for you. 

If you're a horror fan I really think you'll like The Witch. I wouldn't rush out to see it or anything, but I'll say it's worth the money to see it in theaters. 

My Rating: 7/10

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Deadpool (IMAX)

Despite being a huge fan of superhero/comic book movies, I didn't know that much about Deadpool. I'd only ever seen him in X-Men Origins: Wolverine which was so bad that I (like many people, including Ryan Reynolds I'm sure) like to pretend that it doesn't exist. When I first saw the trailer for this I thought it would be really good. Well, it's not good... It's fucking amazing!

The movie stars Ryan Reynolds as Wade Wilson/Deadpool- a mercenary who is diagnosed with terminal cancer. He undergoes experiments which give him accelerated healing powers, but at a high cost. Armed with his new abilities, he sets out to find Ajax (Ed Skrein)- the one responsible for doing this to him. 

Yes, this is technically a superhero movie. Although Deadpool is really more of an anti hero. Instead of trying to save the world, really all he wants to do is be reunited with his girlfriend Vanessa (Morena Baccarian) and get revenge on the asshole who destroyed his life. At the same time, it's very much a satire of these types of movies. It's clever and makes fun of itself a lot. 

You can tell Ryan Reynolds had so much fun making this. He was a producer as well. I always knew he was a good actor. He just happened to be in a lot of shitty movies. I can't imagine anyone else playing Deadpool. He's very funny and charming. 

Speaking of funny, this movie is loaded with humor. From the moment the opening credits started, I knew I was in for a treat. I was laughing so hard that at times I could barely breathe. 

Huge props to director Tim Miller for putting this all together. The budget was 30 million, which is pretty low as far as these movies go. But with a lot of great visuals and kick ass action sequences, it looked way better than a lot of movies with triple that budget. 

I also enjoyed the love story, which going into this I thought would take away from it. Quite the opposite- it actually made it even better. Very tragic and sweet in its own way. Ryan Reynolds and Morena Baccarian had really good chemistry. 

This being a Marvel movie, it should go without saying- STAY UNTIL AFTER THE CREDITS. All I'll say is it's really funny. 

Also, it looks great on an IMAX screen. Definitely worth the extra money to see it in this format. 

I can't really think of any flaws. It's the perfect movie to release on Valentine's Day weekend. It has something for everyone- romance, action, and humor all rolled up into one. I will definitely be seeing this again in theaters it's that good. It's right on up there with the first Avengers and The Winter Soldier as the best Marvel movie I've ever seen. You should stop what you're doing right now and go see it. 

My Rating: 10/10

Saturday, February 6, 2016

The Choice


That pretty much sums up my feelings about the latest Nicholas Sparks movie. I remember reading the book when it first came out almost 10 years ago and believe it or not it was good. But what the fuck was this? Good lord, I haven't cringed so much watching a movie in I don't know how long. 

This will probably be one of the shortest reviews I've done, aside from the mini reviews I do during the film festival. I'm not going to bother telling you the plot. Have you ever seen a Nicholas Sparks movie? Yes? Well, then you know how this shit will go. 

I only gave this a chance because I liked the last movie- The Longest Ride. Was it great? No, but at least it had characters I actually cared about. The only person I liked in The Choice was Tom Wilkinson. He's WAY too good an actor to be in this shit. 

Was there anything that I liked about the movie? Umm... There's some pretty shots of the water. And really cute dogs. That's it. 

I knew I should've gone to see Hail, Caesar! instead. What the hell was I thinking?!?

My Rating: 4.5/10