Saturday, February 22, 2014

Pompeii

Damn you Kit Harington! Making me sit through this piece of shit movie. The things I'm forced to do because I'm a big Game of Thrones fan.

Seriously though, Pompeii was bad. But it's so bad that it's hilariously good.

There really is no point in explaining the plot since there isn't much of one. But just so you're not completely lost- Kit Harington (Jon Snow from Game of Thrones) stars as Milo, a slave turned gladiator who falls in love with Cassia (Emily Browning), the daughter of a wealthy merchant. Cassia is being forced to marry the evil Roman Senator Corvus (Kiefer Sutherland). Milo is in a race against time to save Cassia as Pompeii is being destroyed around them.

That's pretty much it other than some long, drawn out action sequences complete with slow mo. I mean, I knew what I was getting myself into but still. And I'm not surprised that this movie was so bad given that it's directed by Paul WS Anderson (who also directed those shitty Resident Evil movies). He wouldn't know how to tell a story if his life depended on it. I like dumb, silly action movies as much as the next person. I'm a huge fan of the Fast & the Furious franchise. But the difference between those movies and Pompeii is that in Fast & the Furious, I actually cared about the characters. Dammit, would it have killed Paul WS Anderson to at least try? It's like he didn't give a shit. And whoever did the editing should be shot. The movie went from scene to scene so quickly that I didn't know what the hell was going on half the time. They certainly didn't bother explaining anything.

Thank god I saw this in 2D. A lot of the scenes were so dark you could barely see anything. I can only imagine how dark it would be in 3D.

I feel kind of bad for knocking the movie so much. I'm trying to think of some positive things to say. Umm... Kit Harington looks really hot as always. Despite how bad this was, he at least tried. I think he did the best he could with what he had to work with. The music score was okay, even if it did sound like every other score for this type of movie. Oh, and I had enough points on my Regal card for a free movie pass so I didn't have to pay to see this. That's always a plus. And despite everything I've said, I had a great time sitting there and making fun of it all. There's people getting burned alive and having their throats cut and I couldn't stop laughing at how cheesy it was.

Obviously I can't really recommend Pompeii to anyone other than Game of Thrones fans who are curious to see how Kit does (he's much better off sticking to the show). Even then, wait until it comes to the Redbox. Everyone else, save your money and watch the epicness that is Gladiator. It's a million times better.

I'm going to be VERY generous with my rating. If it weren't for Kit I would have rated it much lower.

My Rating: 5/10

No comments:

Post a Comment