Trying to sum up a movie's plot is usually the easiest part when I write a review. Here it's difficult because this shit is just so random (more on that in a bit) but I'll do my best. After the events of Man of Steel, Superman (Henry Cavill) is a very controversial figure to say the least. For some he's still considered a symbol of hope. While others see him as a threat to humanity, including Bruce Wayne/Batman (Ben Affleck). While the two of them are fighting an even bigger threat emerges that could destroy everything.
When they first announced that they were going to make this I was pretty excited. Batman is my all time favorite superhero. And who doesn't want to see him and Superman in a movie together? Even when they said that Zack Snyder was directing this I was still willing to give it a chance. Now that I've seen it I would just like to say... GOD DAMN IT!! How the hell could he fuck this up so much? He seriously doesn't get most of these characters at all. The only positive thing I can say is that he is good when it comes to the visuals (except for Doomsday which looks just as bad if not worse than it did in the trailer). There are times when this really looks like a comic book come to life. He should stick to working on visual effects or if he insists on directing, maybe do some more animated movies. I've said this before but I really liked The Owls of Ga'Hoole.
I know it's not fair to place the blame solely on Snyder. The writing by David Goyer and Chris Terrio is horrendous, especially the dialog between Superman and Lois Lane which had me cringing in my seat.
Then there's the editors who honestly should never work in Hollywood again. When you're putting together a movie or any story for that matter, the events of one scene should lead into the next. And so on and so on. Batman v. Superman is mostly just a bunch of random scenes put together. There were times when I thought that I had somehow passed out for about ten minutes and missed chunks of the movie that explained things.
They are so lucky that Ben Affleck agreed to do this. He (along with Jeremy Irons and Gal Gadot) is the saving grace of the movie. I loved his interpretation of Bruce Wayne/Batman. That's what makes me so mad about all of this- the movie had so much potential. All of the Batman stuff was really good. It's the reason I can't give this any lower of a rating than I already am.
Boy did Affleck act circles around Henry Cavill. I use to give Cavill a pass because I liked him in The Tudors but I've quickly realized that he couldn't act if his life depended on it. His performance was so wooden that I wanted to yell at the screen, "Damn it! Would it kill you to at least try and show some emotion?"
Of course, I can't write this review and not talk about Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor. Worst casting decision ever. I don't know what the fuck that was but it certainly wasn't Lex Luthor. It was so odd and embarrassing. You really have to see it for yourself.
For those of you who are wondering where Aquaman, The Flash, and Cyborg fit into all this-
*SPOILER ALERT*
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I'll save you from the disappointment I felt. So Bruce Wayne hacks into the files that Lex Luthor has on all these superheroes and sends them to Wonder Woman. What you see of them is these quick like ten second shots of some surveillance footage. And then the Flash has another quick cameo in a dream sequence. That's another problem that I had- too many damn dream sequences! Snyder even pulls some Inception shit having a dream within a dream.
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*END OF SPOILER*
For all the shit that I've been talking, I have to say that Batman v. superman is not the worst movie I've seen. But it's not great either. If I had to sum it up in one word it would be this- disappointing. If you're a huge Batman fan like me by all means see it in theaters. If not, wait til it comes to Netflix or the Redbox.
I'll try to end this review on a positive note- we still have Suicide Squad, Civil War, and X-Men Apocalypse to look forward to.
My Rating: 6/10
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