Fifty Shades Freed

Plot:

Final installment in the Fifty Shades trilogy. About damn time. 

Pros:

•IT’S OVER! IT’S FINALLY OVER! I never have to see another one of these movies again. I’m so happy this didn’t follow that stupid trend (with the exception of the last Harry Potter movies, in that case it was necessary) of splitting the last book into two movies. 

•Don’t get me wrong, the movie was a piece of shit. But oh what glorious shit it was! I haven’t laughed so hard during a movie in awhile. I think what made it so fun was the audience we saw it with, including the two women sitting next to us. To quote one of them- “Jesus Christ! It’s like there’s a sex scene every three minutes!!” Because of this I can’t really give this movie any lower of a rating than I already am. 

•It’s thankfully not over two hours long like each of previous movies were. I think it was a little over an hour and forty minutes. Moved at a fairly decent pace. 

•I love how Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson clearly don’t give a shit anymore. This was just a paycheck to them. 

•Now Jamie Dornan can finally move on to other things. I know it sounds crazy but he really can act. Don’t judge him by this. I highly recommend his recent World War 2 film Anthropoid. 

•I highly recommend if you do choose to watch this do it with a group of friends. Trust me it’s way more fun. 

•Thank god for Movie Pass! 

Cons:

•Same issues the rest of the movies have. The sex scene are awkward and boring as fuck. If this stuff gets you off there’s something seriously wrong with you. Just go watch porn instead. 

•Terrible “writing”

•God awful soundtrack (the score by Danny Elfman was fine but kind of forgettable)

My Rating: 5/10